How come it feels so tough to ask for what we want and need or to say what we need to say?
Is it really as tough as we tell ourselves?
What holds us back?
The discomfort?
We don’t want to be a burden?
We think and insist on doing everything ourselves?
What happens if we ask and we don’t get it? Doesn’t that suck more?
The unspoken is never benign.
Every thing you don’t say…
Every tough conversation you put off and avoid…
Is never ever ever benign.
Leaving it inside slowly kills us.
Which means it slowly kills our connection with the person and therefore our relationship and then our family or culture.
How many unspokens are really death by a thousand tiny paper cuts?
Learn how to befriend your emotions.
Learn to sit with discomfort.
Name the awkward.
Choose curious language and empathy.
Ask for what you want and need.
Speak it.
Hold people accountable.
Go find it somewhere else if they can’t, won’t, or aren’t capable.
Turn toward another.
Let people love you.
And just say what needs to be said in a clear and kind way.