|  Blog Post   |  Clear is kind.

Clear is kind.

If I am annoyed with my husband Chad by something he is not doing… and I am not asking for it… and then I hold onto that annoyance for three days until it spills out in an outburst at the slightest frustration or comment, that is all on me.

I didn’t communicate clearly in the moment what I wanted and needed.
I chose to hold onto it for days, allowing it to fester.
When it finally spills over in an outburst, it is three days later and too late for him to actually meet my want and needs.

How often is this happening at work for you?
How often does not speaking up in the moment only lead you to feel pissed off and resentful?

This probably also means you are taking that yuck home with you, and it is affecting how you show up and love on your people there.

Ask for what you want and need.
Ask in the moment.
Clear is kind.
Resentment is poison, it’s also preventable.


Justine is a Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 25 years of experience in traditional mental health and personal and professional development. Justine has been certified in the work of Dr. Brené Brown for ten years. Justine is the author of eleven books, including five Amazon bestsellers covering subjects such as infertility, faith, and grief. She has been honored to do two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect. She travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, courage, resilience, mental health, preventing and coping with burnout, and courageous and curious conversation, especially in creating cultures of belonging and diversity, equity, and inclusion. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad, their three dogs, and for four months of the year hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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