|  Blog Post   |  In the Quiet of a Holiday Weekend 

In the Quiet of a Holiday Weekend 

A long weekend without many plans. So much time to get things done; do a bit of work, serve at church, work around the house and relax.

Sleep in.

Play with the dogs.

Take care of the caterpillars and butterflies.

Swim in our pool.

Quiet, nice relaxing, low key weekend.

And then your one real plan of the weekend gets canceled and you realize everyone else has plans with their families.

Their families with kids.

That irrational, inner critic voice inside your head whispers,

Get used to this, you’ll get canceled on the the rest of your life for the fun with the families with kids.

Everyone will always be too busy with their kids to fit you into their calendar.

The shame, the sadness and that dark sense of being left behind settles in.

Of course, I know this is not my truth but the fog that can easily move in from shame hovers over me almost the entire weekend; enveloping all of me if I am not careful.

Of course, there is the bigger part of me that has enjoyed the quietness of this weekend. The quality time with Chad and the dogs, butterflies and caterpillars. The time to finally work around the house and on my writing with some time off of our regular work schedule.

But I struggled a lot to take my usual deep knowing breath and  puff away the fog, even through this gratitude and joy.

And once again I am reminded that this lifelong journey will always be bittersweet; the complicated grey.

After writing and talking with Chad I realize that mostly I am lonely and I need to do a better job with connecting rather than allowing my shame to disconnect me.

And I need to practice my shame resilience through writing, connecting and practicing my mothering.

But most of all, I need to honor and fight for myself by completely shattering the foggy darkness by speaking it.

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Author:

A Licensed Professional Counselor, Justine Froelker has over 25 years of experience in mental health, personal growth, and professional development. For eleven years, she was certified in Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy. Justine now shares her own curriculum, Courage is Built Here™. This transformative program empowers individuals to live and lead with self-awareness, authenticity, and resilience, building a foundation for courage-centered leadership. In addition to writing her blog since 2013, Justine is an accomplished author of twelve books—including five Amazon bestsellers—Justine has written across genres, from children’s books to in-depth explorations of infertility, faith, grief, and leadership. She has delivered two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect, which highlight her unique perspective on navigating life’s complexities with grace. Justine is a sought-after speaker who travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences, delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, resilience, mental health, coping with burnout, courageous and curious conversations, and fostering cultures of inclusion and belonging. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad and their two dogs, Gertie and Winston. You’ll often find her volunteering at Wild Bird Rehabilitation—supporting the medical team and feeding hundreds of tiny, hungry babies during baby bird season. And during butterfly season, her home comes alive with the flutter of wings as she raises hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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