|  Blog Post   |  When Hope Grows Up: Part 3

When Hope Grows Up: Part 3

Part two here

We like to check the box. We quickly categorize. We think in black and white.

Therefore, we also like to feel in black and white.

Happy or sad. Angry or joyful. Disappointed or at peace.

My education, training and professional experience have always taught me that this black and white thinking is simply not how we are wired. But our society does not embrace this much and the messy complicated gray of feeling too much of anything, let alone feeling conflicting things at the same time, has many of us are numbing and self-medicating ourselves to the utter loss of us.

However, I did not truly learn and embrace giving myself permission to feel it all, and feel it all at the same time, until going through and surviving the infertility journey.

Losing three babies, not being one of the success stories and choosing to define my own happy ending means I must choose to live the rest of my life making the room to feel it all.

Sadness with joy.

Trust with longing.

Parts forever missing and yet choosing to do the work to be whole.

Through giving ourselves permission to feel it all, all at the same time, we allow ourselves to move the the dark.

With this work, we make room for the light.

This is my hope.

My hope can no longer be that everything works out the way I wanted. My hope can no longer be that if you just try hard enough, never give up and do everything right, you will get what you think you deserve.

My hope is moving through the dark to make room for the light. My hope is in trusting there are no mistakes and choosing to do the work to respond to it with love, light and courage.

When hope grows up we give ourselves permission to feel it all, and to feel it all at the same time, because only then does our light shine.

~~~

Tomorrow we’ll talk owning our enough; our truth.

“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” ~ T.S. Eliot

~~~

Don’t miss my new coloring journal, Taking Flight, now available via CreateSpace!!

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Author:

A Licensed Professional Counselor, Justine Froelker has over 25 years of experience in mental health, personal growth, and professional development. For eleven years, she was certified in Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy. Justine now shares her own curriculum, Courage is Built Here™. This transformative program empowers individuals to live and lead with self-awareness, authenticity, and resilience, building a foundation for courage-centered leadership. In addition to writing her blog since 2013, Justine is an accomplished author of twelve books—including five Amazon bestsellers—Justine has written across genres, from children’s books to in-depth explorations of infertility, faith, grief, and leadership. She has delivered two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect, which highlight her unique perspective on navigating life’s complexities with grace. Justine is a sought-after speaker who travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences, delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, resilience, mental health, coping with burnout, courageous and curious conversations, and fostering cultures of inclusion and belonging. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad and their three dogs. You’ll often find her volunteering at Wild Bird Rehabilitation—supporting the medical team and feeding hundreds of tiny, hungry babies during baby bird season. And during butterfly season, her home comes alive with the flutter of wings as she raises hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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