|  Blog Post   |  Rainbows, butterflies, and puppies

Rainbows, butterflies, and puppies

What if when we demand positivity, we’re denying our resilience?

The demand on others and ourselves to be positive no matter what often only means we aren’t creating the space to allow the tough, the dark, and the struggle to exist right alongside the triumphs, the light, and our resilience.

When we don’t create that brave space to allow the dark and the light, too often, it only means the tough, the dark, and the struggle own everything.

It also means people can feel invisible, not valued and seen, let alone cared for, and frustrated, if not resentful.

Because things are tough. 

And the demand to deny that, spewing empty positivity (or pooping rainbows, butterflies, and puppies* everywhere as I like to call it) steals more from us than it will ever help or deliver.

When we do the work to lean into the dark and the light, we will have more opportunity to grow true connection with others through empathy, authentic support, engaged teamwork, actual change and growth, and of course, courageous resilience.

So perhaps, the next time, instead of saying “we just have to be positive!!!” and demanding through denying, we can say something like, “I know this is hard, and it sucks. What can we do to help the hard while also making sure we don’t stay stuck in it?”

*If you’ve been here a while, you know I LOVE me some rainbows, butterflies, and puppies…literally…just not the spewed empty toxic positivity version of them.?

Author:

A Licensed Professional Counselor, Justine Froelker has over 25 years of experience in mental health, personal growth, and professional development. For eleven years, she was certified in Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy. Justine now shares her own curriculum, Courage is Built Here™. This transformative program empowers individuals to live and lead with self-awareness, authenticity, and resilience, building a foundation for courage-centered leadership. In addition to writing her blog since 2013, Justine is an accomplished author of twelve books—including five Amazon bestsellers—Justine has written across genres, from children’s books to in-depth explorations of infertility, faith, grief, and leadership. She has delivered two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect, which highlight her unique perspective on navigating life’s complexities with grace. Justine is a sought-after speaker who travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences, delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, resilience, mental health, coping with burnout, courageous and curious conversations, and fostering cultures of inclusion and belonging. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad and their two dogs, Gertie and Winston. You’ll often find her volunteering at Wild Bird Rehabilitation—supporting the medical team and feeding hundreds of tiny, hungry babies during baby bird season. And during butterfly season, her home comes alive with the flutter of wings as she raises hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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