Boundaries, Resentment, and Holiday Courage

It’s that time of year when boundary work can feel a little more uncomfortable, and yet, it’s more necessary than ever.

Invitations, events, travel, excitement, a little stress, too little sleep, too much sugar, and all of it stacked on top of our regular lives and long to-do lists. I’ve never really understood why we cram so much into such a short season, often saying yes to things and people we don’t make time for, or who don’t make time for us, the rest of the year.

Some of you may cringe reading that, and that’s okay. I invite you to get curious about the rules you live by that may come at the cost of your peace, energy, and well-being. Then get curious about the resentment and fatigue that often follow. Because I promise you, when you honor your boundaries, resentment and fatigue begin to fade.

Maybe that means turning down an invitation. Or maybe it means finding a way to say yes on your own terms.
“Yes, we’d love to come, and we’ll stay for about an hour.”
No explanation needed. No excuse required. The simple boundary is enough.
No is a complete sentence.

Every single time I go beyond what I know is okay for me, every time I say yes when I need to say no, or when I put someone else’s wants above what I know is best for my mental, physical, and spiritual health, I’m the one who lives with the resentment, frustration, judgment, and fatigue that follow.

And honestly, I’m done with those emotions. I don’t want them in my life anymore, especially when they are the direct consequence of me abandoning myself for someone else’s comfort.

This boundary work is not selfish. It’s self-preservation.
Because when you live boundaried, when resentment isn’t festering underneath, your relationships can actually be joyful and free, not forced.

It has taken me years of practice to get here. I’ve had to reconcile that people are allowed to think and feel however they think and feel about the boundaries I need to live with. And at the end of the day, I am the one who has to live in this body, this head, and this heart. When I don’t live boundaried, I abandon myself, and I’m simply done doing that.

Life is already short and hard enough. I want every relationship and every moment to be grounded in love, joy, and care.
And without boundaries, that simply isn’t possible.