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Episode 19: Stop Fixing and Start Loving Others Well
In this episode of Courage is Built Here, Justine opens Pathway Four, Love Others Well, with a thoughtful conversation about empathy, trust, and the courage it takes to stop trying to fix everyone around you. She invites Nancy Leonard to share how the work changed her understanding of care, connection, and what it means to show up authentically instead of trying to be everything to everyone.
Nancy reflects on how she first came into the work wanting to know what she could do for her team, how she could support others, and how she could help. Over time, she realized that loving others well starts with herself. As she began to do the work personally, she became more present, more curious, and less focused on offering advice or jumping in with her own stories. She shares how this shift has changed the way she builds relationships, listens to staff, and creates space for people to be vulnerable.
Together, Justine and Nancy explore how empathy builds trust, why reflection matters, and how courage can look very different at home than it does at work. They talk about the discomfort of changing long-standing patterns, the challenge of asking for what you want and need, and the truth that when one person in a system changes, the system often pushes back. Throughout the episode, they return to the themes of authenticity, limits, and connection, and how loving others well begins with accepting that you are enough without earning your worth by fixing or saving everyone else.
Key Takeaways
- Pathway Four, Love Others Well, includes empathy, trust, curious language, courageous conversations, and feedback.
- Nancy realized that loving others well starts with doing the work for herself first.
- One of Nancy’s biggest shifts was learning to sit with people without trying to fix them, advise them, or redirect the focus to her own experience.
- Nancy said she is more engaged, more present, and more intentional when she asks curious questions and listens for understanding.
- The work helped Nancy recognize that she cannot be everything to everyone all of the time.
- Nancy shared that when she is not trying to be someone she is not or carry something beyond her capacity, she can show up as herself and that is enough.
- Nancy said trust has deepened in her relationships because people are sharing more vulnerably with her.
- Reflection was a powerful part of the training because it gave time for the learning to sink in instead of rushing to the next task.
- Courage looked different for Nancy at home than it did at work, and that surprised her.
- Nancy is practicing connection by asking for what she wants and needs, even when the people around her are not used to that change.
About the guest
Nancy Leonard works in staff wellness at Republic School District and has a background as a nurse. In the episode, she shares how the Courage Is Built Here work changed the way she leads, listens, builds trust, and shows up more authentically with both staff and the people she loves. She also reflects on the impact of going through the training with a cohort from her school system and how that shared language helped carry the work back into everyday life.