Is this mine to carry today?

Lately, I’ve been sitting in the tension between my values and the world we’re living in.

I’m a curious person by nature. I want to understand people. I seek root causes. I read the posts, listen to different voices, and yes, I still scroll the comments. Because I care. Because I’m curious. Because I want to learn.

For me, curiosity is part of how I love well. It’s part of what makes me me.

And yet, it’s been heavy.

It’s starting to harden my heart. It’s leading to frustration. It just doesn’t feel good.

Because when everyone is posting every single thing, every thought, opinion, belief, and reaction, it becomes too much.

Too much for our minds to absorb.
Too much for our spirits to carry.
Too much for our hearts to hold.

And I feel a lot.
I love even harder.
And I cannot, I will not, exist in a space where love becomes hard.

So I’ve been asking myself:
How do I stay curious without becoming cynical?
How do I stay soft without being swallowed whole?

Here’s what I’m learning, slowly:
Curiosity is a form of love, not a flaw.
Grief isn’t failure, it’s proof that we’re still loving.
Restoration doesn’t come through striving. It comes through returning.
Returning to presence.
To discernment.
To Belovedness.

So now, before I click or scroll or dig for one more explanation, I pause and ask:
Is this mine to carry today?
Is this serving love or draining it?

Some days I can stay curious and connected.
Other days, I stay curious and step away to live in what is True.

Lately, it seems that curious stepping away, a boundary, not a severing of connection, is what serves me best.

And maybe, you need permission to do the same.