May we choose connection

Lately, I have been feeling some fear when it comes to sharing, whether in my writing or in my video teaches.

I am sure it is a direct consequence of too much scrolling and consuming what feels like the endless drama (aka hurt) of what can be the dumpster fire of humanity on social media.

There is so much to have many feelings and opinions on.
And people can be very loud.
Especially the offended and the hurt people.

And I think I am learning to discern between offense and hurt.
Between the noise of drama and the calling into accountability.
Between someone’s expectations and the honest work that must be done to create change.

I’m also learning that I obviously need to lock myself out of social more often.

People’s feelings are valid.
When they tell you their experience, believe them. They are the expert on their life. If you have hurt them, own your part, do the work, and make reparations. If you are hurt, feel it, seek support, speak your truth, and know that forgiveness is for you and does not necessarily mean reconciliation, aka freaking boundaries.
I don’t want to live so damn offended. If I am hurt, I need to name that. But offended? That shit is on me. And life is too short to live so offended all the time.

All these deep Monday thoughts remind me too…

that someone’s expectations of us aren’t our responsibility.
that someone’s perception of our story also isn’t our responsibility and doesn’t change our truth.
that when someone tells us they are hurt, we must look at our part in that. And when we are hurt, there is a difference between being offended and hurling that offense and being truly hurt and seeking how to heal from that.

Social media feels loud because as much as it has connected us, which it has, it has disconnected our humanity more.

It feels easier to post something or send a quick email or text than to sit down and have a conversation with the person. It feels easier to like someone’s post rather than type a comment, let alone to reach out and see how they are. It feels easier to keep scrolling and comment than to sit with our thoughts, feelings, and get curious about what is triggering in us.

We will not heal outside of connection.
If you haven’t noticed, we are in desperate need of healing.

May we choose connection.
May we remember one another’s humanity.
May we use this incredible tech for our healing and not our demise.