|  Blog Post   |  Clear is kind.

Clear is kind.

If I am annoyed with my husband Chad by something he is not doing… and I am not asking for it… and then I hold onto that annoyance for three days until it spills out in an outburst at the slightest frustration or comment, that is all on me.

I didn’t communicate clearly in the moment what I wanted and needed.
I chose to hold onto it for days, allowing it to fester.
When it finally spills over in an outburst, it is three days later and too late for him to actually meet my want and needs.

How often is this happening at work for you?
How often does not speaking up in the moment only lead you to feel pissed off and resentful?

This probably also means you are taking that yuck home with you, and it is affecting how you show up and love on your people there.

Ask for what you want and need.
Ask in the moment.
Clear is kind.
Resentment is poison, it’s also preventable.

Author:

A Licensed Professional Counselor, Justine Froelker has over 25 years of experience in mental health, personal growth, and professional development. For eleven years, she was certified in Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy. Justine now shares her own curriculum, Courage is Built Here™. This transformative program empowers individuals to live and lead with self-awareness, authenticity, and resilience, building a foundation for courage-centered leadership. In addition to writing her blog since 2013, Justine is an accomplished author of twelve books—including five Amazon bestsellers—Justine has written across genres, from children’s books to in-depth explorations of infertility, faith, grief, and leadership. She has delivered two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect, which highlight her unique perspective on navigating life’s complexities with grace. Justine is a sought-after speaker who travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences, delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, resilience, mental health, coping with burnout, courageous and curious conversations, and fostering cultures of inclusion and belonging. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad and their three dogs. You’ll often find her volunteering at Wild Bird Rehabilitation—supporting the medical team and feeding hundreds of tiny, hungry babies during baby bird season. And during butterfly season, her home comes alive with the flutter of wings as she raises hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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