I know I can trust it all

On November 1st*, I shared with the world a dream come true—Chad and I had purchased a beautiful property to create our future retreat space, Monarch Meadows Retreat.

By February*, I had to let you know that after much planning, dreaming, and countless resources spent, we made the heartbreaking decision to put it back on the market because we couldn’t overcome the battle for rezoning.

And today, I’m here to tell you that we have finally closed on the property, ending a very frustrating process, and yes, at a significant financial loss.

First, I want to express massive gratitude to Chad and our friend and realtor Jen Bell. Your countless hours of work on both the purchase and sale of this property did not go unnoticed. I know it was frustrating beyond belief, and I am so grateful for your dedication.

Second, I don’t get to share this story wrapped up in a pretty bow with the cliché that when God closes one door, He opens another.

Instead, I’m sharing this because I’m being obedient—just as I was when we embarked on this journey. I know that God is good and that He loves me, even when life and my feelings try to convince me otherwise.

I honestly don’t know what the point of all this was. The hours, the work, the money, the realized dreams shared with the world, only to be literally crushed for all to see.

I feel dumb and foolish.

I also finally feel fairly neutral after quite a bit of anger, hurt, and sadness.

Most of all, I know I can trust it all.

I refuse to let heartbreaks, the world, or zoning battles steal my dreams or my faith. My entire life is a testimony to that. I have placed every loss of mine back into His hands, and this one is no different.

And so with gratitude for the glimpse of what is possible, praise for the presence, protection, and provision throughout and for whatever is to come, and total trust we let go and give it back.

Somehow, someday, Monarch Meadows Retreat will exist.

Somehow, someday, it will be even more than I dared to dream and build with this property.

Somehow and someday…

And I promise I’ll share that one with you all too.