|  Blog Post   |  You Don’t Have to be Ever Strong 

You Don’t Have to be Ever Strong 

The infertility world is very much focused on women; in the treatments, in the education and in breaking the silence. However, the statistics are growing that men’s factor infertility could be the case in one third to one half of the 1 in 8 (sometimes stated 1 in 6 depending on the resource) couples going through infertility. And regardless of the numbers or the cause of a couples’ infertility, there are still two people in that relationship suffering through one of the most difficult journeys in life. So, on this Father’s Day weekend I would like to pass along a message you simply cannot escape from when it comes to me. Especially to all of you fathers, no matter what version of father you are.

Talk about it.

Ask for help.

Break your silence.

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And, if it counts for anything, I give you all permission to not have to be the ever strong husband.

I wish I had been able to communicate this more clearly to Chad as we were going through our own infertility journey. To be able to assure him that he didn’t always have to be the ever strong man, never showing too much emotion and being stoically strong while I lost my shit.

Even though it may be scary at first for us to see this authentic vulnerability from men, to actually see behind the armor of a man’s strength, it is truly what we want and need from our partners. And, even though this is counter intuitive to how you have been raised and what our culture says, I believe this authentic vulnerability from men is what will make marriages and each of us happier and healthier versions of ourselves.

Especially as you are fighting through infertility and even more so after, no matter your ending.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.

Because, just as all women are some version of a mother, please give yourself permission to feel the same as a father, especially this weekend.

Author:

A Licensed Professional Counselor, Justine Froelker has over 25 years of experience in mental health, personal growth, and professional development. For eleven years, she was certified in Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy. Justine now shares her own curriculum, Courage is Built Here™. This transformative program empowers individuals to live and lead with self-awareness, authenticity, and resilience, building a foundation for courage-centered leadership. In addition to writing her blog since 2013, Justine is an accomplished author of twelve books—including five Amazon bestsellers—Justine has written across genres, from children’s books to in-depth explorations of infertility, faith, grief, and leadership. She has delivered two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect, which highlight her unique perspective on navigating life’s complexities with grace. Justine is a sought-after speaker who travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences, delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, resilience, mental health, coping with burnout, courageous and curious conversations, and fostering cultures of inclusion and belonging. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad and their two dogs, Gertie and Winston. You’ll often find her volunteering at Wild Bird Rehabilitation—supporting the medical team and feeding hundreds of tiny, hungry babies during baby bird season. And during butterfly season, her home comes alive with the flutter of wings as she raises hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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