|  Blog Post   |  Choosing to Make the Time 

Choosing to Make the Time 

Today I am part of the Rewired Life Blog Tour, where we are all exploring and digging deeper in the concepts of Loving yourself, Healing your body and mind, and Celebrating life. Click here to read all of the other amazing bloggers!!! ~~~

Four years ago my life fell apart and together all at once.

And every day since, I’ve fought, white knuckled, practiced and chosen my life in recovery.

There is not much like a failed infertility journey, three lost babies and the darkness of grief, anger and general life-isn’t-fair-and-I’m-the-victim to get you deep in the darkness.

And still, I believe, we must realize that it is always a choice.

A choice to be a victim to life, a victim to what has happened, what has been done, the losses. traumas and tragedies or a choice to overcome through choosing how to respond to it and redefining ourselves and our lives.

Just a week ago one of my clients said,

I know you are so, so busy. How do you do it? How do you still do all the self-care?

With ownership of my own work I responded,

I make the time. No one has time for anything extra in their lives. We are all busy, too busy. We must choose to make the time for what we want and need in our lives. My happiness and sanity ride on me choosing daily self-care.

She responded with a bit of exasperation in her voice,

But when do you do it? How do you find the time?

Four years into my practice of fighting for my redefined happy life it is easy to instruct someone on this work,

I think good and doable self-care is 3-5 things every morning and 3-5 things every night before you go to sleep that you make the time for. Some days it is a complete struggle and I must force myself. I force myself because those choices are aligned with who I want to be. Other days those choices are natural and easy, but this is also years into my journey.

She replies,

And, you still do it all? Every day?

With authentic honesty I reply,

Pretty much very damn day.

There must come a point for us all that we have had enough. Enough of feeling miserable. Enough of being busy with things we don’t care about or that don’t make us happy.


The hardest part of reaching that state of enough is that it means finding the time and space to add more to your life. One more thing, that we already feel like we cannot possibly fit in. Except that one more thing is finally choosing to make the time to change our lives through taking care of ourselves.


My daily choices to choose the life I want through my self-care has not only saved me from the darkness that follows when life doesn’t turn out how you hoped and dreamed, but it has opened me up to receive the life filled with dreams I never even imagined.

So I challenge you, what can you add to the start of your day and the end of your day, every single day, that will fill you up?

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Color! Adult coloring are not only a fad, the relaxing and creativity building effects of them are being more and more supported in the research.

Meditate! Some of my favorite resources are the Headspace app, The Tapping Solution or using a song or a scent.

Intentional reading! A devotional of some kind, does not have to be religious necessarily. My favorites are anything by Sarah Young (Christian) and Panache Desai’sFinding Your Soul Signature.

Journal! Write about your day, the peaks and valleys and most especially finish it with a gratitude. I prefer 1-3 things that I am grateful for (they have to be different every day). Then I write 3-5 sentences about why I am grateful for one of those things.

Write! Set a timer and write for five minutes based on a random writing prompt you find online.

Walk! Specifically, walk outside in nature and practice presence. How many shades of green do you see? What do you smell? Do you feel the wind?

Read! Especially at night before you go to sleep, read a real book!

Hobby! Do, practice or create something that gets you excited and makes you curious. For me, it is gardening, raising monarch butterflies and volunteering.

Gratitude! It is the single most important and life changing skill for getting out of this thriving and not only surviving.


Yesterday we heard from Yogi Tish over at her blog Ocho Brazos Yoga.

Coming Monday we get to hear from Dan Mason over at Creative Soul Coaching.

Finally, don’t miss a free sample chapter of Rewired Life by my friend Audrey Michel here.


Justine is a Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 25 years of experience in traditional mental health and personal and professional development. Justine has been certified in the work of Dr. Brené Brown for ten years. Justine is the author of eleven books, including five Amazon bestsellers covering subjects such as infertility, faith, and grief. She has been honored to do two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect. She travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, courage, resilience, mental health, preventing and coping with burnout, and courageous and curious conversation, especially in creating cultures of belonging and diversity, equity, and inclusion. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad, their three dogs, and for four months of the year hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

Post a Comment:


Sign up to receive Justine's newsletter