Love is an action.

How do you know someone loves you?

Their words? Their actions? Both?

Of course, it’s both—but dang, if our actions don’t always speak much louder than our words.

And yet, how often do we actually show up for ourselves with actions of love?

If you really thought about it—if you described to your best friend the way you treat yourself—what would they say? Would they encourage you to stay in that relationship? Or would they lovingly urge you to walk away?

Because when people show you who they are, believe them.*

Are you treating yourself with love?

The self-help world will tell you over and over again that you need to love yourself. But what if you never had that modeled for you? What if you were raised to believe that taking care of everyone else came first? What if you think self-love is just about the stories you tell yourself?

Sure, mindset matters. But here’s the thing: actions speak louder than words.

As you reclaim and rewrite your courageous beginning (join me in February to learn more about that), you must also change your behaviors—because loving yourself isn’t just an idea, it’s a practice.

And I will maintain, every time—you cannot give what you don’t have.

So, if you aren’t loving yourself well, how well are you really loving others?

*People also can learn, grow, and change.