|  Blog Post   |  Be kind.

Be kind.

I used to live my life assuming that you are doing your best.

Because when I changed to that way of believing (I didn’t always think this way), I was the one freed, not so angry at the world because people suck and aren’t meeting my expectations.

The crux of believing that someone is doing their best is that sometimes someone’s best is not good enough for us. Which means we have to find what we need somewhere else.

I now live my life knowing that you are doing your best.

Because when we know better, we do better (Maya Angelou) and because for the last three years, I have lived with pain that would bring most people to their knees on a daily basis, and yet most people would never know it or see it when they meet me.

My best the last three years, has not been good enough for many people in my life.

And I have just been trying to stay alive.

Yesterday, my pain felt like I needed to have seven teeth pulled. It even hurt to drink water. I wanted to rip the left side of my skull away.

I struggled.

I did my best.

My best probably wasn’t quite good enough for some.

And it is what I had.

You don’t know what someone is fighting. You don’t know what hurt or worry they are living with. You don’t know what it takes for them to show up in the world.

Be kind.

Living with the knowing of generosity doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have all your feelings about someone’s best not being good enough for you or that you don’t hold them accountable to hurting you or not doing their job, for example.

It simply means you do so and meet everyone with care, compassion, love, and generosity.

Because if you haven’t noticed, there are a lot of people who are struggling and very tired. Or are in so much pain they want to rip half their head off.

Be kind.


Justine is a Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 25 years of experience in traditional mental health and personal and professional development. Justine has been certified in the work of Dr. Brené Brown for ten years. Justine is the author of eleven books, including five Amazon bestsellers covering subjects such as infertility, faith, and grief. She has been honored to do two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect. She travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, courage, resilience, mental health, preventing and coping with burnout, and courageous and curious conversation, especially in creating cultures of belonging and diversity, equity, and inclusion. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad, their three dogs, and for four months of the year hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.

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