|  Blog Post   |  Stop going to an empty well looking for water.

Stop going to an empty well looking for water.

When I made the choice to believe you are doing your best, I was the one freed. Freed from being angry and resentful and blaming others for not meeting my expectations, most especially the expectations I have never stated out loud and clearly.

When I lived to know that we are all doing our best because of the darkest and most painful years of my life, my life was flooded with even more freedom that oozed with tons of grace that softened my heart in a way to love people well.

People aren’t lazy.
They don’t enjoy failing.
They aren’t withholding from us on purpose.

People are hurting.
Maybe even suffering.
People have big stories.

Sometimes, they just don’t have what we need.
Sometimes, their best just isn’t good enough for us.

Stop going to an empty well looking for water.

Have courageous conversations, set boundaries, go find what you need from somewhere else, and at times give yourself permission to love/lead people from afar.

For me, this brutal life-changing lesson has meant a life free, filled with grace, and full of connection and love.


Justine is a Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 25 years of experience in traditional mental health and personal and professional development. Justine has been certified in the work of Dr. Brené Brown for ten years. Justine is the author of eleven books, including five Amazon bestsellers covering subjects such as infertility, faith, and grief. She has been honored to do two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect. She travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and trainings on topics such as leadership, courage, resilience, mental health, preventing and coping with burnout, and courageous and curious conversation, especially in creating cultures of belonging and diversity, equity, and inclusion. Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad, their three dogs, and for four months of the year hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.


  • July 14, 2022

    Yes! “Go find what you need from somewhere else.” When I stopped going to empty wells, I was free to discover new wells full of water.

    I learned grace from everything I went through too. Grace started for myself. Then I was able to extend it to others.

    Beautiful post. <3


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